Yesterday we saw a show of a mildly displayed childbirth on the television. It was after the show you had asked me if it hurt to have a baby. I was honest with you, as I hope to always be.
Yes, it does hurt to have a baby. It hurts when delivering and bringing a child into the world, it hurts to see your baby get a bruise, or to head dive into a coffee table from the back of the couch because they thought it would be fun to try and fly. It hurts to know your child is sick and you can do nothing to take away the pain. It hurts when your child cannot breathe, because it takes away your breath as well. It hurts to see your child grow more independent and need you less, and it hurts to discipline them when they do something wrong. Regardless as to all the hurt a child causes, I would rather have all that hurt than to have never experienced the knowledge of being a mother.
You told me that you don't ever want to have a baby. I hope you some day change your mind. I couldn't imagine my life without you. What would my life be without the joy you bring? You teach me like no one else could. To see your fascination, your intelligence, your excitement, all the little things we take advantage of in our lives. To show me the love that such a little heart can give. The non-judgmental child that can see beautiful things in what others would not find.
For all the pain you've brought me, the beauty and love and compassion is of far more value. The pain is nothing compared to the thought of never knowing. There are no words to completely describe all the wonders of being a mother.
Always you are in my heart!
