5 years this month

The realization that 1/2 the reason why I am alive, is gone. I miss you mom, even though you may not have known it while you were here with us on earth.

There gets to be a time when you realize that hanging onto a relationship with anyone who is not also an active participant in wanting to continue, is just not worth your time or effort.  They are not worth the tears, disappointment or anger.  There are far more important people in your life whom are active participants.

The people who are by your side are what matters and they are the ones who are deserving of your time, affection and love.  That blood is not as thick as you once thought.  Family sometimes becomes strangers; the paths we've each taken over the years no longer weave together but have become completely unraveled.  We meet new friends, they then become like family.  We create new lives, have children and fall in love.

Regardless, I am thankful for my past; what it has taught me and the paths that it led me down.  If any of those paths had been interrupted or broken, I would not be who I am now with the ones that make my life amazing.  I live without regrets in knowing that for all the hardships, I am stronger.  Without one lesson or one interaction... my life now may not have turned out as good.