A marker for my mom

It is approaching four years since my mother passed. She has been resting in a spot with no claim for herself. My mother needs a stone.

Early this morning I went to the City Clerks to pick up a death certificate for my mother. To be quite honest this turned into quite an emotional day. I never saw the certificate until now. As I sat in my car giving it a once over I paused... what triggered the down pour was not under 'Immediate Cause' being multi-organ failure but rather 'Underling Cause' listed as end of stage liver disease and more bluntly 'chronic alcoholism'. I always knew that the cause of death is listed on the certificate itself, but I suppose it never really sunk in what my mothers would say. It's like taking away everything else about her.

I made several stops after, first to a monument center (which was not to open for several more hours) and then to pick up my sister to make a stop at our mothers resting place. On the ride I brought up the lack of a marker, apparently this has been bothering her for quite some time but even more recently (as with I). Neither one of us had a penny at the time of her death and could not contribute anything at all to her funeral expenses. She carried no life insurance policy and I walked in shame because I could not do a thing about her burial. The man who had shared the last 13 years with her gave her a last gift, the ceremony and burial with some help from the family.

Here we are almost four years later. I am not financially wealthy but in a much better place than I was before. After high childcare costs this summer I should finally be able to save up for a stone, FINALLY. Katrina and Jim also plan to contribute as well as Aunt Donna.

The three of us gathered after Katrina and I spoke with a nice man at the cemetery and gathered information on what we can put in there, size, etc and have come to the conclusion that we are going to have a monument for her by the end of October. Now the price will vary depending on what we choose because as it is, she is buried with her father and his stone currently marks the grave.

We have the option of moving my grandfathers flat stone forward and putting up a monument for my mother; this is a cost that I am willing to incur myself with as little or as much contributed from family members. However, there is space for two more in this plot should they also be cremated. So a lot of the family would like a monument with space for four names. If we go with a stone for four names, the cost will go up substantially. With that said we would need contributions from others in order to do this.

This is my way of putting it out there if any of you in the family would like to contribute towards a larger stone or if you would like to share your thoughts, please do. I will be collecting the funds and will set it aside until it is time to proceed, we are aiming for October. In addition, when the stone is finally set in place we would like to have a gathering at the cemetery.